Saturday, January 17, 2015

How to become a good listener? (Part 1)


It's difficult to become an effective speaker but to become good listener is not easy. A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or only partially said.
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Effective listening involves observing body language and noticing inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal messages. For example, if someone tells you that they are happy with their life but through gritted teeth or with tears filling their eyes, you should consider that the verbal and non-verbal messages are in conflict, they maybe don't mean what they say.

Let's see some tips help you become a good listener.

1. Stop Talking
When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them.  Until they has finished talking you may need to clarify to ensure you have received their message accurately.
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2. Just Listening


Feel Relax.  
Focus on the speaker.  
Put other things out of mind.  
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The human mind is easily distracted by other thoughts – what’s for lunch, what time do I need to leave to catch my train, is it going to rain – try to put other thoughts out of mind and concentrate on the messages that are being communicated.

3. Put the Speaker at Ease
Remember their needs and concerns.
Help the speaker to feel free to speak.
Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them to continue.
Maintain eye contact but don’t stare – show you are listening and understanding what is being said.
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4. Empathise
Put yourself in speaker's position.
Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
Look at issues from their perspective.
Let go of preconceived ideas.
By having an open mind we can more fully empathise with the speaker.
If the speaker says something that you disagree with then wait and construct an argument to counter what is said but keep an open mind to the views and opinions of others.
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